when your mother tells you you’re beautiful
smile and say thank you. 
do not tell her that you don’t really care how beautiful you look because:  1) you know your worth, and 2) your confidence doesn’t come from how attractive others find you. 

when your mother tells you what to wear
give in and let her dress you like a doll. 
do not fight for your right to dress how you please; deny yourself the ability to represent your gender identity the way you feel comfortable. wear the goddamn dress to church.  

when your mother tells you you’ve gained weight
laugh and crack a joke. 
do not tell her how rude and unnecessary her comment is, or that you wish she’d stop placing so much value on your looks, because it’s taken you a long time, but you’ve finally learned your weight does not define you or your beauty. 

when your mother says you ‘don’t need’ to be eating the coconut milk ice cream out of the carton,
tell her she’s right and put it back in the freezer.
do not take another bite and tell her to mind her own business because you can eat what you damned well please.

do not remind her that you no longer share her body. 

do not remind her that her opinion doesn’t matter anymore. 

do not remind her you are not her mirror.