i call you,
i call you & i tell you
my body has been shaking today 
uncontrollably 
like from my core
radiating outward to my
fingertips to my thighs to my toes

i am vibrating
like everything within me is vibrating
& i feel it in my mind, too 
& you say “embrace it" 
& i laugh 

& i cry
at the evening news &
that video of quintuplets
embracing
each other on the kitchen floor 
so full of love 
without language 
without knowledge
of this world

when i shake 
my mind leaves me 
& i wonder where it goes
when it goes
 
if i’m visiting 
friends in other planes
with names i don’t know 
who i don’t remember when i come back, 

when i come back to you & you
tell me to embrace it 
embrace crying
embrace screaming beneath my bathwater
embrace being overwhelmed & not really
understanding
things i tell myself i need to understand 
to be human 
but i guess that’s not true 

because what do those babies 
know? nothing, really 
& they’re human & they love 
& they are loved 
& i’m a little more
conscious 
of should be’s &
should not’s & should have’s 
but maybe this is really 
a beginning.