Tag: anniepoem

i am i am i am
nothing
yet absolutely everything.
i am my decomposing
grandmother, six feet under Michigan soil.
i am being rejected from thirteen jobs before
falling in love with the one i have.
i am the insecurity and self-hatred
i have shed like a snakeskin,
insatiable wanderlust, and
falling asleep early on a Friday night– 
trying to write poetry with invisible ink
on the apartment walls in hopes that the next person
who runs their  fingers on them will carry
a small piece of me with them.
i am both my aunts and my mother,
so much history for a soul
that feels much too small for its body.
i am struggling with existence these days
unsure if it’s a game or
a dream, or something in between.

mosaics are made from broken pieces but they’re still works of art, and so are you. // a.s.m. 

When I tell you I love you, 
I don’t just mean how
I love the brilliant green of your eyes or
your contagious, body-shaking laughter or
the way you kiss me.
I mean I love 
the face you make before you sneeze
and the way your eyebrows furrow 
when you’re deep in thought
and the way your ears get 
bright red when you’re angry. 
When I say
I love you 
I mean that
I love you and
all of the parts of you that make you
exactly who you are.

there is not one thing i would dare change // a.s.m

I’ve always had strong sea legs and 
a need for perpetual motion.
When I was young I’d stand at the edge
of my father’s boat
and let the waves sway me as they
kissed the hull. The ocean’s child,
she’d rock me to sleep
with sea foam kisses and promises
of serenity.

And when I walked
on the solid ground that
nailed my feet into this planet like a crucifix,
I’d hear no promises of the ocean’s serenity.
I’d put my ear to sea shells just to hear her
whispers, but
I could no longer fall asleep at night, no
matter how much
I rocked myself to and fro.

But last night, as I lay
my ear to your chest, I heard
promises of peace
in the ebb and flow of
your breath. I saw the calm to come
after the storm I have become, and I think
I’ve been waiting my whole life for the ocean
to find me through you.
The way you hold me and rock me like
the waves do;
after years of insomnia, I finally fell asleep.

i’ve been waiting my whole life for the ocean to find me through you. // a.s.m

I’ve heard that quote that says ‘do one thing every day that scares you.’ But what if every day is a nightmare that I’m not quite sure how to navigate? What if every day in itself terrifies me? What then?

the unpredictability of my state of mind makes life similar to a haunted house ride // a.s.m

i tried, i tried
so hard not to
step on your toes, even though
sometimes i felt like
you’d intentionally poke them out
under the crack of your door to see if
i might do it anyway.

i tried so hard to
make sure
you had room to breath;
that when you looked over your shoulder
i wasn’t always there. even though
sometimes all i wanted to do was kiss you.

i let you breathe.
i let you breathe without me.
and i think you realized that
sometimes the air is fresher when you’re alone.

a.s.m

I am so tired of having to try so hard to make you happy, only to lose myself in the process.

If I cannot make you happy simply by breathing, perhaps I cannot make you happy at all.

if you really loved me, i wouldn’t have to try so hard to make you happy: a person who loves you will be overjoyed simply because you are alive // a.s.m