The Seance

we drove
with the windows down
even though it wasn’t quite warm 
because it wasn’t cold, either.

and the boy with the curly hair
played Meat Loaf with the volume
at 37: 
And I would do anything for love
I’d run right into hell and back… 

i see your phantom whoosh
past on the side of the road
and wonder if i ever truly
felt your love, or
if it was just a ghost, 
too. 

we lock eyes. 
i laugh a laugh i thought 
i’d lost after i met you 

and watch you dissolve 
in the rearview mirror. 

the smell of liquor
on your breath and the words
that you hid at the
bottom of the bottle. 
the way you only looked at me
with longing when
your eyes were glazed over. 
a series of mistaken midnight black-outs
that just kept happening
because i still hadn’t learned
the second or third time
around.

everything you feel when you hear your ex’s name // a.s.m