Tag: i miss you

one drink
and your name is looping
in my mind

two drinks
and i just want you
next to me, i just want
to feel you, i just want you
to make me warm
i hear your name
in the clinks of glasses

three drinks
this space between us
is pulling me like taffy
i am aching for
my skin to touch yours
i am aching for
you and i know i shouldn’t
have

four drinks
the glass is to my lips
and this heat is
sliding down my throat
this heat is
undeniable and
insatiable and i wish
i was sober.

alone and drunk and missing you // a.s.m

your breath, warm
milk and roses.
your arm, a barrier
for intruders-separating
us from the world.
i don’t know
the time or where
i am or what i was
supposed to be doing;
i only know
your heartbeat, the heat of
your lips, warm
milk and roses.

warm milk & roses // a.s.m

you’re close enough to me
that i can see your eyes,
but they are
somewhere far away
from here. and so we sit
on the couch in silence,
me reading my book, you
staring into space and repeating
the same five lines from a song
i don’t know.
i really do feel like you’re on some
other side, you know.
mom’s crying on the kitchen floor,
stabbing holes into
cellophane because
at least when grandma died,
her body didn’t haunt us anymore.

Heroin, Pt. II // a.s.m

Fenton

i walked to the river today–

the one we hiked to 
on
our first date.

I sat in the flowers,
the same ones I sat in when

you looked at me like

I was something

you’d never seen before

and asked me what music I liked.

I walked to the river today–the one
you and I got lost

trying to find.

I hiked the trail to 
the rock where
you told me I was beautiful

for the first time.

Do you still hear my laugh

in the ripples of the river?
Do you still listen for me

when the trees sing like the rain?

Because despite all the time that’s passed,
I still see your eyes in the summer grass

between my fingers, 
and these
waters will always 
whisper your name.

I’ll Still Think of You When I Smell Cigarette Smoke

I’m sinking into the air again.
I reach out to grab your hand
but all I get is smoke. 

You aren’t anywhere to be found.
I’m getting used to turning around
and not seeing you there. 

You said you’d always be there for me. 
I found it easy to believe– 
it’s what I needed to hear. 

You made that promise long ago.
It’s my fault, I should have known
you don’t keep them so well.

And I know life swept you off your feet,
took you places you’d never dreamed.
I just thought you’d take me, too. 

So I’ve learned at the end of the day
everybody goes their own way.
I guess I should let go. 

It’s that much easier for you to suffocate me now that your hands aren’t in mine.

because if i’m not holding your hands then they’re around my neck, and every time you smile without me hurts a little bit