i’ve stopped counting:
the numbers, the macros,
and the days since we last
spoke. the months
we could have been, 
the times i will miss, and
the moments
i wish i could erase you.
i’d been trying to start the car
with the house keys– hoping maybe
if i tried hard enough, 
we’d still be able to run. 
from Neptune i now see that
all those numbers never added up
to anything.