birthdays,
thunderstorms, new relationships,
flowers blooming,
last goodbyes,
tears,
kisses,
weddings,
leaves falling,
sun setting,
first hello’s,
deep laughs that make your eyes
water and your stomach hurt,
sun rising,
long hugs,
flowers withering,
learning self love,
a small orb in a vast
universe spinning
on its axis three hundred and sixty six times
and me
learning to live
without you.
Loving someone who doesn’t love you back in the same way is a suffering unlike any other. Every minute in their presence is a reminder of what you are not, what you never will be: enough for them. And in the process of loving them, you end up hating yourself.
i walked to the river today–
the one we hiked to
on
our first date.
I sat in the flowers,
the same ones I sat in when
you looked at me like
I was something
you’d never seen before
and asked me what music I liked.
I walked to the river today–the one
you and I got lost
trying to find.
I hiked the trail to
the rock where
you told me I was beautiful
for the first time.
Do you still hear my laugh
in the ripples of the river?
Do you still listen for me
when the trees sing like the rain?
Because despite all the time that’s passed,
I still see your eyes in the summer grass
between my fingers,
and these
waters will always
whisper your name.
please don’t ever forget how much
i loved you.
please don’t think that because i’m gone
my love is, too.
please don’t think it stops
when my silhouette fades away.
please don’t think it doesn’t flow
just because my mouth is shut.
please understand that once
the seed is planted, it will always be
in my heart.
once i love you,
i cannot un-love you.
once i love you,
i will always love you.
please don’t forget.
please don’t think i don’t
care.
please understand that my flaw
is seeing you as perfectly imperfect.
my flaw is loving your
faults too much.
because you didn’t love mine,
and as i began falling deeper and deeper in love
with every flaw i discovered,
you were falling farther and farther out of it.
i loved you for all of you.
you loved me for parts of me.
When I told myself I’d love again after you broke my heart, I always imagined it would be with someone else.
Silenticel 