we’re drunk
and i ask if i can kiss you
even though i don’t
wait for an answer.
i feel your lips move with mine.
this is the first time
we’re dancing. your eyes
look different than they do
from far away.
have they always
had this much to say?
have they always been burning
holes in my heart?
i want
my fingers to tell
the story of how the
freckles on your collarbones
burst into stars under
my lips. you are an
entire galaxy beneath me
and i have
fallen hopelessly into you.
i am not quite sure
i could find my way
out if i wanted to.
suddenly you’re
speaking too fast and
i can’t quite remember
what we’re talking about.
have your eyes
always been this shade
of blue? and have you
always had that
small little scar on the corner of
your lips? you touch my
shoulder and look at me with
concerned eyes. shit,
did you notice i
was hypnotized?
‘are you okay?’
to be honest, i’m not
quite sure i am: it seems
you’ve recently learned
how to shock me.
i think perhaps
small bits of my
heart are eroding
off and being
carried through my blood
stream to my brain because
i’ve been having trouble
separating the two
lately. i’m worried
pieces
of my heart have
taken root in the striatum
(an invasive species on once fertile soils):
i fear i may do
something stupid.
MY FIRST LOVE: the earliest flame to catch the wick of my heart. She burned bright and long, keeping me warm through Winter. In Spring, the branches began to fall, and her fire consumed so brightly it burned.
MY SECOND LOVE: a brilliant firework. When I fell, he reached out to catch me, but I knocked him to the ground with the weight of my heart. Never close enough to hold, he was gone just as quickly as he came.
MY THIRD LOVE: you set a fire in me I cannot extinguish, you travel through my veins. The first to heat my whole body: the only one I have allowed to spread this far. I am letting down my firewalls, risking third-degree burns, but there is something thrilling about seeing torches in your eyes.
honestly,
it doesn’t matter
what time it is because
i’ll be thinking of you
anyway.
at some point
i stopped feeling, so
i lit myself on fire to get high
enough away from the ground
you’ve walked on.
i see your footprints
on the streets from way up here
as the city shrinks to ants.
i can still pick the top of your head
out from the crowd
from the clouds,
until i am on the moon:
i can’t see anywhere
your heart and mine were together.
i know he is
secure and safe.
your mother will not shudder
when you bring him to
dinner dressed
in a suit and tie, and
he will know how to start a fire
in the fireplace without looking
it up on yahoo answers.
you can marry him
in a church and not feel
God glaring
down at you.but please know that
i will always laugh
at that video you love of
the guy with the cup feet
no matter how many times you
replay it.
my future already has
your name in it.
we are so much alike that
i sometimes wonder what
part of me doesn’t have a piece
to match up with you.everything i am is another
heart on my sleeve:
my biggest weaknesses,
because they are everything
he is not, and
he has you.
a picture worth a thousand words
you wanted the world
to hear me say the ones
hidden
underneath my tongue
for you.
i wanted you to
taste them when you kissed
me.i turn my back
to the lens, cover
my face with my hands.
i only want these moments
as they slide between my
fingers. i only want the
blanket of your lips on
mine. i only want the
heat of you running
up my spine. i don’t
want to press flowers
between the pages
of a book. no
lingering scent
of you on my
bedsheets, no
ink on a piece
of paper to
prove you
ever set
foot
here.
i am falling apart:
a 1000-piece puzzle
even i gave up on
half-way through.
you are the wind, blowing
my pieces every
which way and
i cannot catch them all.
the universe is shining
in my eyes,
so i let my hands down
to my side and watch
myself go.
My heart is anchored to you,
and when goodbye leaves
your lips, it takes my heart
with it.
Silenticel 