The people you love are flowers that take root in your heart. Some of them have shallow roots– they are easy to pluck and be forever rid of. However, some have strong, deep roots that intertwine with your veins– roots that you cannot remove without drawing blood. And when you try to yank them out of your heart, no matter how hard you pull, you will almost always leave some root underneath the surface. There are some people you will never fully rid yourself of– there are some people that will always have the tiniest parts of their roots still splintering your heart.

i will never know how deep your roots go, but i know you’re still here // a.s.m

When I was young,
my mother used to warn me
not to look right into
the Sun: I could damage my
eyes from the
heat.

The first time I met you,
I could not look directly
into your eyes; I still
can’t.
I’d never expected
to find the Sun
burning
in them.

your eyes bore into me with the intensity of the sun and i do not know what to do with all this heat. i never knew the sun shone through people, too. // a.s.m

my mother asked about you today.
i didn’t know how to explain
that your name
on my tongue is like
novocaine;
that i’ve been waiting so long
for the numbness to
fade.

i still feel numb when i hear your name. // a.s.m

I haven’t lived long, but I’ve lived long enough to know that closing myself off to the world doesn’t prevent pain; it only postpones it. I am learning to live with my heart off it’s hinges and the door wide open because pain is going to enter regardless. It is better to enjoy the time I have in the sun than waste it worrying about when it’s going to rain.

things i wish i’d realized before: don’t miss out on incredible experiences and incredible love just because you are afraid of getting hurt; the world is going to hurt you regardless. love fearlessly. // a.s.m

You always used to say if something was meant to be it would happen, and yet I can’t help but wonder if perhaps sometimes we are meant to fight for things to happen.

 to my first love: i’m scared to stand idly by and hope for things to work out between us, because what if they never do? what if i was meant to fight for us? // a.s.m

I am so tired of having to try so hard to make you happy, only to lose myself in the process.

If I cannot make you happy simply by breathing, perhaps I cannot make you happy at all.

if you really loved me, i wouldn’t have to try so hard to make you happy: a person who loves you will be overjoyed simply because you are alive // a.s.m