It’s that much easier for you to suffocate me now that your hands aren’t in mine.

because if i’m not holding your hands then they’re around my neck, and every time you smile without me hurts a little bit

We were never completely in sync. You were the lightning and I was the thunder: always right behind you, never quite fast enough.

you never walked next to me

I walked away from her believing I’d never be enough; I walked away from him knowing I deserved more.

i’m learning that i deserve someone who deserves me

Never date someone who makes you feel like shit– you can do that all on your own.

you made me feel like shit and for some reason I thought that’s what I deserved.

It’s hard to settle for bits and pieces of someone you used to swallow whole.

how am i supposed to be okay with small talk when you used to live inside me?

Rehab

I’d shoot you up,
swallow you whole with
a glass of orange juice
in the morning—
inhale you
during my lunch breaks.

I thought that I needed you.

Now my sheets are drenched
in all the words you’ve ever said and
my eyes roll back to replay
your smile until it distorts
into a sneer.
And I can smell your sweat.
I can taste your lips.
I can taste the milk going sour.

You are leaking out of
the bullet holes—out of
all of my pores—but
I know this
is part of getting clean.

When I told myself I’d love again after you broke my heart, I always imagined it would be with someone else.

but it always has been and always will be you.

I used to be crazy about you– now I’m just crazy.

there is crazy in my blood, my heart just doesn’t beat for you anymore.