I knew the lonely parts of your heart.
They were my campgrounds
when my walls began to burn and
the ash and smoke threatened
to suffocate me beneath my
crumbling ribcage.When it was winter in my heart,
and my veins became
frozen red rivers,
you always had a fire going
in yours.
I would huddle inside the
crevices between
your atriums and swim in your
bloodstream until I, too, was red
underneath your skin.
You’re the only one who can pass me by and make me look back.
I’m sitting here trying
not to think of
you,
but my mind always lets you
s
l
i
pin through the cracks when it
wanders.
With cupped hands I show you
the parts of my soul nobody else has
touched.I am prepared for your eyes
to widen in disgust,
for you to take them
and crush them and
throw them away.But you hold them,
you know them,
you love them.And gently, carefully,
you place my darkness back
in my shaking hands.You have seen all of me and yet
there is only love in your eyes.
You wrapped your finger around the loose end
and pulled and pulled and pulled until
it broke;
an absentminded afterthought
hurriedly shoved into the armrest of my car
on your way out.
The hemmed end of your shirt left frayed and
blowing in the wind as
you walked away;
a sad reminder of how it used to be before
it’s innards were pulled out.Weeks fall away and it still sits there—
the small ball of pink thread;
the mark of your territory on my heart.
The last piece of you. The only thing
holding us together.
I want to get drunk and talk about you at parties
I want to know that I can do that because
I don’t really know if you’re mine.What are we?
Can I tell my mom about you?
Can I daydream about you?Do you still think about me a lot?
Do you still daydream of kissing me?
Is the shape of my lips imprinted
in your eyes, the way light stains your irises
after staring at the sun,
like your lips are in mine?
We laughed
because we both
hate summerand you kissed me
while we melted
under the heat of the sun
and into each other
and even though it’s warmer
in bed when you lie next to me
I think this is the kind of heat
I could stand;my skin says so when it sticks
to yours– it wants you
near.I would sweat in this
desert forever
if it meant we could hate
summer together.
my ethereal reality,
my dream-like state–
between your open arms and
the open curtains
where heaven pours in.
i fell in love with
words and promises instead
of with a person.
the sky was bruised and blooming
above us, deep
purple and blackthe pool lights darted
by our feet
distorted and refracted.
scattered.
moving with the wateri lay floating
on my back, andfor the first time since
calling you mine, i felt
weightless.you wrapped your arms around
my waistfor the first time
since calling me yours,you carried
me.when the weight returned
to my body
we ran homeour wet footprints left
to dry
beneath the winking moon.
Silenticel 