Tag: love

for the first time, 
i feel a different kind
of alive. 

something is sprouting
within me: a hunger for
the taste of your skin
on my lips, your warmth 
beside me.

i’ve always used a
fork and knife, never
indulged the animal
inside.

but tonight you look
so good.
tonight, i think
i could.

full moon // a.s.m

with her, it’s like art. 
it’s wanting to know
every single detail about her
down to what she tastes like,
down to what she sounds like
when she’s begging.
down to her dirty little secrets.
down to the parts of herself
one can only uncover beneath the
sheets.

sex // a.s.m

you were the first person
i ever tried to convince myself
i did not love.
you were the first time
i denied the lava in my stomach.

you were perfect for me.
there was nothing about us
that didn’t make sense,
and yet i turned away.

for some reason,
i have such good timing
but such bad luck, and so
i always end up in the
arms of the wrong people.
i always end up
alone again.

even when i feel alone,
you are there to console me.
and i have finally realized that
if i were with you, you probably
wouldn’t have to be consoling me.
with you, i would be happy.
and that scares me.

“we accept the love we think we deserve” // a.s.m

i want you to know that
most of the time i am nothing
more than lost moments. 
i am many things that are not myself
clumped into a soft vessel: bits and
pieces of surroundings i’ve vacuumed 
into my being. i will always be 
collecting seashells. and though my
vision may change, i promise
my laughter will never be stale, my
kisses will never be forced, and
no matter who you evolve into, 
i will love you.

to whoever you are and whoever you end up becoming // a.s.m

i am escaping
into the night much like
the air from her mouth evaporates
into the wind as she says
goodbye.

light no longer
reflects off of me:
i am absorbing so much
darkness,
she cannot find me
anymore.

not being able to see
me means i’m already gone.
the only thing
she wraps her arms around anymore
is the darkness, and it is too cold,
i make her
shiver.

goosebumps // a.s.m

you were eleven
pounds of limbs when
i scooped you into my arms
beneath the flickering
yellow lights that reflected
off urine-stained linoleum.
i thought i was rescuing you. 

that night as you walked
into the apartment
for the first time, i wasn’t
thinking about paris or
the lust in my veins
(the lust pumping out of
my heart). you cried,
scurrying into a corner
when i accidentally stepped
on your paw. i feared you
wouldn’t let me near you again.
you were so slow to let
the hair on your back go
down. 

the days are getting longer,
the skies bluer, and i am
dreaming of paris
again. you follow me
to the bathroom, waiting
patiently outside the door.
you follow me throughout
the house. wherever i am,
your eyes are there. brown 
and gold nebulas. 

we fall asleep
and i feel your heartbeat against
my feet. i want to squeeze you
so hard sometimes. 
twenty five pounds, 
you are an anchor following
me around. i can hear
london calling me now.

where do i go 
to escape your eyes, 
little lamb?
what have i done, falling
in love long before
i have seen the world; 
making home in twenty five
pounds of limbs and
pawprints in the snow?

will your eyes follow me
to london and paris? to cobblestone
cities and languages 
i have yet to learn? 

your small heart an anchor
at my feet, mine is filled 
with a lust to see every inch
of the Earth’s skin.

little lamb // a.s.m

once you learn that the sting of rejection does not wound nearly as badly as the torment of regret, and that fear itself is more intimidating than what you are actually afraid of, you are invincible.

you hurt me a little but i am invincible now // a.s.m