your hands
on the outer walls of a mountain
you are about to climb into,
dig your hands within
the soil. feel her move
beneath you,
hear the wind scream his name.
hear it echo in the distance,
hear it slowly begin to fade.
1. If their eyes ever falter as you walk into a room, walk away. You may not believe it, but you deserve to be reflected in their irises.
2. If you’re sitting in your bed with their voice echoing in your head, using your sheets to wipe your nose, and can think of sixteen reasons to go and one to stay, you should go. You will find someone better for you, I promise.
3. If you go into it hoping you can get them to smoke less weed or stop saying ‘fuck’ so damn much, don’t go further. Old habits die hard, if at all; make sure you can live with their quirks.
4. If they hold their glass of vodka closer than your waist, let them go. You do not deserve to come in second to their vices.
5. If they pinch your love handles and tell you your curls look better straightened, leave. The way you were created deserves to be adored.
6. Know you are worth millions of atoms, of stardust and spiraling staircases of double helixes, and do not accept anything less than love.
All the words I’ve ever wanted to hear come out of your mouth are about her.
you’re too young to be hiding
in the closet
full of clothes your
mother bought you.you’re too young to
hate yourself so much
that you dream of hiding
in there forever, just so you
never again have to wear a dress
on Easter.you’re too old
to be living as anything but
what paints your stomach lining.
project it in color on city walls.
scream it drunkenly off of rooftops
to the whole world, a reminder:your tiny planet will
never stop spinning as long as you
continue to push it.
Even before it hits
it is there, building up
in the depths of my ocean;
churning and ruminating
in my darkness.When it crashes within me
this time, I gasp for breath; for hope
that I can do this alone.
For the first time you are not here
to help me float.
For the first time I must learn
to swim on my own.
It would be a joke
to think I could ever forget
what this day is.This will always be
your day.For the rest of my life, I will
fight hard daily
not to miss you, but today
I will. Today you will
flood my mind as the rain
outside my window
engulfs the worms.Today I will
wallow in the regret
I have been bottling
in jars and collecting in my closet.
I will tilt my head back and
empty
every single one until
I am drunk with self-hatred,
projecting black-and-white images
of you on the inside of my forehead
when I close my eyes.Today I will
finally take the unopened gift
sitting on top of the fridge
I bought for your birthday
last year and
throw it away
alongside the wilted
beets
I never cooked.I see you sitting in
the grass blowing
out the candles and I hope
I am a psychic; but how
contradictory it is
to wish
your loved ones well and
hope they are missing you,
too.
a drowning desire
to dream, you touch my
shoulder and push me to
sleep.
spin cotton candy from
my spine, pour words over
me like maple syrup and
i will taste them, like
black and white memories,
when i wake.i’m sailing face down
on this ship,
with dinosaur theories
on rippling white waves, and now
i’m running fast
on Italy’s shores;
running towards
crystal green promises
you try not to blink
away;running faster until
i’m flying
above rooftops to
my grandfather’s heart.
blank stares
don’t exist anymore.
there’s always something
new, something blue, something
read at 4:37 p.m.
that has yet to be answered to.no time
to smell the roses,
fit your family in
a cubicle and get your
hands back on that keyboard
and your ear to that phone.
you have lives
to improve to be
just like your own.
they put my
heart on a gold platter
for you to hang
next to the deer and moose
heads on your walls.
my tongue, my lungs
severed and garnished with
flowers and herbs
for you to consume,
your stomach acids slowly
breaking down the only
cells in my body that
allowed me to sing.
i am sea bones, born
swaying to the
duple meter of
undulations rocking
my skeletal ship.
where waves melt
together into stillness
and skies become clear
with stars.
Silenticel 