ether
a dream
a memory
from a life lived
or livingmaybe mine
maybe someone
else’ssleepy
sun, still
waking, weaving
between blades
of thick Iowa grass
yellowing and resoluteworshipping
their golden
god.eternal beds
canopied with iron gatesglorious even in
decaying.
and when you rain,
rain with grace
bring growth
not destruction
not a single star in the sky
but a thousand in your eyes
reflecting off these city lights
i say i’ll be back soon
knowing full well
soon may not be soon
enough
no matter if it’s now
or in your final momentsit is going to break
my heart, i know
i am denying the inevitable
whether or not this is the last time,
i must learn to say goodbye
sometimes my heart takes me
to the walled courtyards of the Old City
to the streets where my նենե (grandmother)
laughed and played
and carved her initials into stonesometimes it calls me to
sandstone cities
and undulating deserts
where my ancestors fled and
where the mosque’s
haunting prayers stir
my sleeping soulsometimes i hear
the melancholy songs of
my mother tongue
and i long to stand on the հող (dirt)
half of my being was formed from,
to dig my toes into my
rootssometimes i’m drawn towards
places i do not know, but
that i hear calling mebut louder than the voices
echoing in ancient monasteries
and stronger than the force of
my meandering spirit
is the pull to youyou are where I ache to go back to
to become one
with something else–
the wind, the sailsanother person
to simultaneously lose
& expandoneself
to be so lost &
so found
each place your heart & feet
have tread
time has eroded you
from my mind(like waves erode a sandy shore)
depositingyou into the delft
waters of the subconscious
where you sinkdeeper every time
i fall in love with him
a little more.
i am restless
within, aching
for wildness
running after a dream
unsure of what it isi am hungry for dirt
and the smell of
rain,
i feel uncooked inside
i am not ready to give myself
to anything
because there is so much to know
so much to yearn for,
to lovei wonder what would silence
the hunger.
forgiveness is falling from
the sky
pushing dirt and gravel
down the streets,
singing.and i stand outside
mouth and heart open
wide and let it
drench me, inside
and outclean and
consume me.and as it permeates my skin,
i will not fight it
but let it in.
some days
you are silent
& to me it feels greater
than the 3,000 miles
between us.
& in this silence I fear
the worst
& in this silence I feara silence I know well
a silence I have felt
beforewithdrawal of
emotions & words
intended to wound;
in my heart I know
you always callbut I am still learning
to feel silence
as more than a
punishment.
Silenticel 