i am falling apart:
a 1000-piece puzzle
even i gave up on
half-way through.
you are the wind, blowing
my pieces every
which way and
i cannot catch them all.
the universe is shining
in my eyes,
so i let my hands down
to my side and watch
myself go.
they put my
heart on a gold platter
for you to hang
next to the deer and moose
heads on your walls.
my tongue, my lungs
severed and garnished with
flowers and herbs
for you to consume,
your stomach acids slowly
breaking down the only
cells in my body that
allowed me to sing.
i am sea bones, born
swaying to the
duple meter of
undulations rocking
my skeletal ship.
where waves melt
together into stillness
and skies become clear
with stars.
all is right
and nothing’s left,
it seems i’ve lost my
art.
no blood pounds in my
forehead, the seas within
are calm and i
have nothing left to say except
how lovely it is to really
smell the autumn air and
not be thinking of
how to write about it.
she’s at her ripest.
shedding rainbows from her limbs
before all turns white.
i used to dream about you.
now i just drink about you.
i was myself, once.
like i’ve been before;
a phoenix, fire of
autumn leaves regurgitates
me.
i find my voice in the songs
the river sings,
memory like the currents.
constantly moulting, but
keeping them in a scrapbook–
moments with blank spaces
in between
stitched together to make
a quilt.
i decompose.
sometimes i bloom with the azaleas
in the spring.
We are so eager to find home anywhere except within ourselves.
Sometimes events in your life aren’t meant to happen when you want them to. You can’t shove a puzzle piece where it doesn’t belong or else the puzzle as a whole won’t come out looking right. Our lives are puzzles in a similar way: in our relationships, jobs, hobbies, whatever-if the piece doesn’t fit quite right, it isn’t meant to go there. Trust that moving some pieces of your life around will fix the overall outcome of the greater picture.
Can you even really love someone if there aren’t parts of them that irk you?
Silenticel 