But Our Life Is Not A Romantic Comedy

You told me it wouldn’t work. 
You were looking for 
that “connection” you said, 
and that we were 
a little off sync.” 

You were looking for kissing
in the rain, declarations of love
from cardboard balconies, and lovemaking
with moans practiced in front of 
the bathroom mirror. 

You wanted me to read scripts, 
but I’ve never been very good 
in front of an audience. 
You were looking for a cookie dough girl
from a claymation, a girl 
whose words were well rehearsed because, 
after all, practice makes
perfect. 

Fucking perfect. 

But did you know,
my space boy, that
two off sync pendulums will eventually
swing the same way? 
That when you are old and grey 
and your sighing limbs are weak, 
you will wish you had someone 
who would truly listen instead of just waiting
for their next line? Or that the “connection” 
will only last for the 120 minutes
(and if you’re lucky, through the credits)?

They say sex sells,
but the worst part is, sometimes
we don’t even know
we’re buying it. 

How The Words Get On The Page

They are all the times
i’ve been put away on a back shelf 
and collected dust. 

All the times my heart has shattered
onto the pages of my notebook and
sullied my fingers black. 

They are the words
I carve onto the pages instead
of into my skin. 

All the times I have felt
my heart was burning in the night sky
instead of in my chest. 

The times I have stood still
among hives of buzzing, 
undulating people. 

When I have been sitting
on my own bed, 
and still felt I wasn’t home. 

When I feel so restless in
my own skin 
that I swallow rainbows so I may
dissolve into darkness and wake up
forgetting.