Tag: original poems

When I left you, I was scared that I had left a part of me behind– the part that loved long hikes, exploring, deep talks, learning, and spontaneous day trips to small towns. I believed that you were part of what made me who I was, and if you weren’t in my life, I wouldn’t be adventurous or kind or spontaneous anymore. I didn’t see that all of that was already in me. I thought I needed you in order to love myself. 

I could not see that everything I loved about you– all the things I loved doing with you– were already inside me. I didn’t need you. I don’t need you. Everything I was scared to lose about you, I’ve discovered in myself. It was there all along, it was just masked in our relationship. I don’t need you to be myself. I am me without you. I am the same without you.

That’s the funny thing about pain,” she said. “You suffer through it. And looking back, you’ll remember that you had it. But you’ll never be able to remember exactly how it felt– only how huge it seemed to be. You’ll remember that you were hurting, who hurt you, and how. But once you overcome the pain, your heart callouses. You won’t be able to feel the knives in your lungs anymore, or the way every word they said was a hammer to your ribcage. Eventually, it becomes a black and white memory of something you had experienced in color. And in some ways that is so beautiful,” she mused, “because it allows us to try again despite all we’ve been through.

somebody once told me you can’t re-feel past pain 

Serendipity

Why are our hearts always restless
to be stolen away by butterflies
and sawed in half?
At some point, amidst Shakespeare’s sonnets
and differential equations,
we’ve been taught that
you are only whole when
you give yourself away and
if your hand isn’t in someone else’s
it might as well be empty.
You will always be worth more
than the ring on your finger and
just because you’re thriving
on your own, it
does not make you
broken. 

Foggy  Heart + Pins & Needles Brain

some mornings the sun shines
a bit differently
through my blinds, and
the fog’s already settled in
my stomach, signaling that
today will hurt– that i will cry
over the if only’s that make me feel
so
heavy.
these days are hard, but
they are not the worst.

the worst days are when the sun
shines brightly through the blinds, but
my insides have not yet thawed.
abruptly– a blow to the chest
and i am caught
off guard, gasping for
breath, reaching for
anything or anyone that can
save me from this feeling of
drowning. only to

realize i am not
drowning– if only
it were that easy. but
nobody can give me their hands
and pull me to
safety.

all i can do is listen to
the tick tock of my heartbeat–
not knowing when it will end;
constantly in fear of when it will return.

She was always so animated when she talked. You could stare at her for hours, observing the way she used her hands when she was excited, or how her eyebrows would furrow and wrinkle when she was deep in thought. Her face was a poem you knew by heart.

But her eyes– there was something about her eyes– the way they darted and fluttered like a bird, never landing anywhere for more than a few seconds. Never finding home. Always wary of settling anyplace for too long– as though if you had a second to look into them you might see pain you’d never noticed before; and if she looked into yours, she might see love and not know what to do with it.

please don’t look me in the eyes

She knows she is a diamond– she is not waiting for you to tell her so. She is simply waiting for you to realize it yourself.

love yourself first so you can understand how much you truly deserve