this faucet is about
to burst open
and leak blood 
and i honestly feel like
i have fucked up too
many times to count
i have fucked up too
many times to forgive
myself and i don’t
understand how i am able to
live inside this body and able to
live with these mistakes and
trudge through mud that glues my boots into place
and somehow still get somewhere.
i am amazed at how far i can walk,
disgusted by how much mud i am covered in.