Tag: poem

i tried, i tried
so hard not to
step on your toes, even though
sometimes i felt like
you’d intentionally poke them out
under the crack of your door to see if
i might do it anyway.

i tried so hard to
make sure
you had room to breath;
that when you looked over your shoulder
i wasn’t always there. even though
sometimes all i wanted to do was kiss you.

i let you breathe.
i let you breathe without me.
and i think you realized that
sometimes the air is fresher when you’re alone.

a.s.m

I am so tired of having to try so hard to make you happy, only to lose myself in the process.

If I cannot make you happy simply by breathing, perhaps I cannot make you happy at all.

if you really loved me, i wouldn’t have to try so hard to make you happy: a person who loves you will be overjoyed simply because you are alive // a.s.m

the past is
the past is passed.
and i know i need to stop
looking through the binoculars backwards,
but for some reason
i keep seeing little flecks of you
in the glass when i look through my windshield, 
and i wonder if it’s your reflection from behind me. 

i see you laughing. i want to 
be the reason for that laugh,
to be next to you so i can hear it.
but i know it’s
something she said
that’s so funny,
and that you’ve already forgotten
the way i snort when i laugh.
she doesn’t snort when she laughs.
i wonder if you like that better. 

i wonder if  you wish you could hear me
laughing too. 
i wonder if you’ll see a photo of me in a hot air balloon
in August and wish you had been there to hold my  hand
as i looked over the edge because you know 
my fear of falling 
from great heights.

checking up on an ex will only bring pain, i promise. // a.s.m

please don’t leave me alone
tonight. there are spiders
in the corners of my mind,
spinning webs that spell out his name
and i’m afraid
if your arms aren’t wrapped
around me i will soon
be wrapped in silk instead.

please don’t leave me on the nights i need you the most // a.s.m

i don’t know your face anymore,
it’s just a place i’m looking for.
some chemical’s breaking down the glue
that’s been binding me to you.
i thought love watched over this house,
but you’re boarding up the windows now,
and an empty house is not a home.

watch it all dissolve around you,
burning little holes in love.
drag your heart up to the starting line–
each heart a paper kite blown by the breeze,
love won’t rest till it brings you to your knees.

but the wind wouldn’t blow me home–
i’ve missed my turn, strayed too far
from the road.
i lost my heart, i buried it
too deep.

nothing comes easy to a cage like heart // a.s.m

the day you told me you loved me, 
i cried. because
if walking away without saying
a word
while I am telling you how
the darkest parts of my soul seem to be
black holes and 
they are sucking me in,
or ignoring me so you can
smoke weed and watch netflix
alone,
or saying I’m not a priority,
means ‘I love you,’
I am terrified that those 
three words define 
something that doesn’t actually
exist.

did it really mean anything? // a.s.m