Tag: poesia

you were the first person
i ever tried to convince myself
i did not love.
you were the first time
i denied the lava in my stomach.

you were perfect for me.
there was nothing about us
that didn’t make sense,
and yet i turned away.

for some reason,
i have such good timing
but such bad luck, and so
i always end up in the
arms of the wrong people.
i always end up
alone again.

even when i feel alone,
you are there to console me.
and i have finally realized that
if i were with you, you probably
wouldn’t have to be consoling me.
with you, i would be happy.
and that scares me.

“we accept the love we think we deserve” // a.s.m

i want you to know that
most of the time i am nothing
more than lost moments. 
i am many things that are not myself
clumped into a soft vessel: bits and
pieces of surroundings i’ve vacuumed 
into my being. i will always be 
collecting seashells. and though my
vision may change, i promise
my laughter will never be stale, my
kisses will never be forced, and
no matter who you evolve into, 
i will love you.

to whoever you are and whoever you end up becoming // a.s.m

i have changed.
like my favorite jeans
in middle school, 
i grow out of some things. 
i shed.
and i will continue to.
 

we are as fluid as the
rivers and the seasons, 
nothing is meant to 
always stay the same and
we are no exception. 

yes, i have changed. 
just as every single cell in
my skeleton will replace 
itself, 
my heart will be new, too.
and that is okay.

you’ve changed // a.s.m

read my words
and you will 
dissolve under my skin, 
you will be the spirit behind
these scleras. 
you will hear the earth crying
into the arms of the universe. 
you will smell 
destruction. 
read my words and you will
understand
me.

know my words, and you will know me // a.s.m

i am escaping
into the night much like
the air from her mouth evaporates
into the wind as she says
goodbye.

light no longer
reflects off of me:
i am absorbing so much
darkness,
she cannot find me
anymore.

not being able to see
me means i’m already gone.
the only thing
she wraps her arms around anymore
is the darkness, and it is too cold,
i make her
shiver.

goosebumps // a.s.m

once you learn that the sting of rejection does not wound nearly as badly as the torment of regret, and that fear itself is more intimidating than what you are actually afraid of, you are invincible.

you hurt me a little but i am invincible now // a.s.m

we are chiseled
from clouds to be
strong yet fragile. we must
weep, but we must
comfort those who are
weeping also. our lives
cannot be any
messier than the kitchen counter
before having guests over.
we must always make
a good impression.
we will be everything
so you don’t have to be,
and we will still be weak
in your eyes.

woman // a.s.m

you have been used
by the world for too long.
your edges are
becoming soft. you are collapsing
under the
weight of this world
while giving him a piggyback.
you must let him hit
the ground before he can learn how
to pick himself back up.
you can’t chase him through the
playground anymore, he is lost
in mazes you would never be able
to escape from.
you cannot help him
find the way out when you are
just as lost yourself. 

run away
from the place he’s landed.
take time to develop the strength
to breathe
life back into his lungs
for when he finally decides
he wants to live again.

for Nectar in regards to my brother’s heroin addiction: i know you are his mother, but you cannot do anything to help him until he is ready to help himself. // a.s.m