Rest In Power (His Name Was Blake)

Another light has gone out.
Another line of a story that will be continuously written,  
a battle you are and forever will be a part of.

You were born a billboard of lights, though.
You were made to be seen. 
You were made to be heard.

And you fought valiantly, you beautiful souldier.
It isn’t your fault– sometimes you fight your hardest, and yet
the enemy cracks your armor
with their words and their eyes and
you are left exposed.

But there is and always will be an army behind you.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I met your smile last week, and I am in love with it still.
I will fight for that smile.
I will fight for others’ smiles.
I will fight so that there will always be a smile
for you in someone else when
you cannot give one yourself.

Because I know what it’s like
to have clouds dim the suns in your eyes,
or to have the weight of the world lay heavy on
the corners of your lips.
And I’m so sorry
the spinning tied you down and dragged you
and hunched your shoulders
all while making you wear a mask–
when all you wanted to do was
spread your light so others could learn to love
themselves, too.

And I’m so sorry we aren’t fast enough.
I’m so sorry people cannot love what they don’t understand.
I’m so sorry you ever believed your life wasn’t worth living.
I’m so sorry the world has let one more light 
die. 

But if it’s frozen and full of tar, it can never break

When your eyes freeze and turn to ice
I need to run or
I am impaled by your words
like darts—the poison
seeps into my blood stream and
I carry the venom
inside me until it claws at me
from inside my veins, restless
to get out.

So much
venom thickens my blood to tar and
fills the cracks of my heart
with lead,
and the only way to forgive myself for
being cold enough to freeze you, too, is
to let it out.

So when they scratch
and wriggle in my veins,
I cut them loose and
watch the black venom 
drip out.