why are we always running
from this?
the galaxies behind
our eyelids. the answers
in our breaths. in-out in-out.
constant. steady. being.
there is a universe
within you;
why are you scared of
getting lost?
THROWBACK THURSDAY!!
So I thought something fun to start doing with the blog is to have “Throwback Thursday” every Thursday and reblog an older poem of mine so newer followers can read work that’s kind of buried in the back of the blog! So here’s the first throwback! 🙂
i am changing,
evolving. like the earth
(i was born from), i am
constantly eroding and
collecting. i am growing
strong and breaking down
walls. I am always made of
something new.
read my words
and you will
dissolve under my skin,
you will be the spirit behind
these scleras.
you will hear the earth crying
into the arms of the universe.
you will smell
destruction.
read my words and you will
understand
me.
I’m trying to write about you but I’m not sure how to: I can’t call you ‘mine’ because you aren’t, and I can’t call you an ‘ex’ because you never were. You were an ‘almost.’ A ‘not-quite.’ A ‘what could have been.’
If an artist created an extremely unique painting, they would work very hard not to sell it for any less than what they believed it was worth. Well, guess what? You are both the artist and the painting. Believe in your worth and do not sell yourself short.
you find the ingredients
to lose yourself
in the kitchen cabinets.
in twelve hours with coconut oil,
a chopstick and a fork,
you unkink your hair and
lose a piece of yourself in
the air that blows between the doorways
of the only home you’ve ever known.you’re down a limb, and you can
feel its phantom
brushing up against your body,
trapped
within these same walls.you shut the door quickly
when you leave so
that it cannot escape.
it has to stay inside.
you want to visit sometime
soon.
mother, don’t you know?
the boy with the golden
irises doesn’t smile anymore.
he’s packed, and there’s something
heavy in the bags he carries
underneath those eyes.
there’s no such thing as darkness
in the city of angels.
there’s no fear in death when
you welcome it.
perhaps the sun will thaw
him, perhaps the cold has
nothing to do with why he’s
so numb.
a nuclear bomb has just gone off
in the living room.
the ground bubbles
under pressure, vibrations rising
like heat and the Christmas
tree trembles,
golden orbs shimmying and
dangling precariously off
evergreen cliffs.a mushroom cloud is spreading throughout
every single room in the house.
i stay put but keep my head down.my heart doesn’t palpitate when
the walls start to quiver.
with a smile, i close my eyes and
enjoy the way it feels
as though the house is rocking
me to sleep.there will be plenty of time
to clean up the mess later.
i am escaping
into the night much like
the air from her mouth evaporates
into the wind as she says
goodbye.light no longer
reflects off of me:
i am absorbing so much
darkness,
she cannot find me
anymore.not being able to see
me means i’m already gone.
the only thing
she wraps her arms around anymore
is the darkness, and it is too cold,
i make her
shiver.
you were eleven
pounds of limbs when
i scooped you into my arms
beneath the flickering
yellow lights that reflected
off urine-stained linoleum.
i thought i was rescuing you.that night as you walked
into the apartment
for the first time, i wasn’t
thinking about paris or
the lust in my veins
(the lust pumping out of
my heart). you cried,
scurrying into a corner
when i accidentally stepped
on your paw. i feared you
wouldn’t let me near you again.
you were so slow to let
the hair on your back go
down.the days are getting longer,
the skies bluer, and i am
dreaming of paris
again. you follow me
to the bathroom, waiting
patiently outside the door.
you follow me throughout
the house. wherever i am,
your eyes are there. brown
and gold nebulas.we fall asleep
and i feel your heartbeat against
my feet. i want to squeeze you
so hard sometimes.
twenty five pounds,
you are an anchor following
me around. i can hear
london calling me now.where do i go
to escape your eyes,
little lamb?
what have i done, falling
in love long before
i have seen the world;
making home in twenty five
pounds of limbs and
pawprints in the snow?will your eyes follow me
to london and paris? to cobblestone
cities and languages
i have yet to learn?your small heart an anchor
at my feet, mine is filled
with a lust to see every inch
of the Earth’s skin.
Silenticel 