when i hide the world
underneath closed lids, 
i dream of you. 

the voices in my mind sing
nothing but your music, and
my heart is sore from constantly
reaching for you. 

every step i take is in hopes that
soon i will walk on
your soil. until then, 
my hands must learn to be 
content only
to write about you.

Yerevan // a.s.m

how selfish am I
to live this life, 
to see through these eyes, 
to want to die? 

how selfish am I
to laugh with ease
to seek joy when
there is suffering? 

how selfish am I
to strive to calm 
the storm inside? 
is it selfish
to survive?

survivor’s guilt // a.s.m

the Turkish coffee cup
shards on the floor 
draw blood. 

that delicate porcelain 
holds eighty-two years of life,
wrinkled hands, cardamom
coffee-stained
smiles and desert air;
a shattered mirage on
hard, cold kitchen
tile.

a thousand fangs,
they draw blood and make
home in the soles
of my feet.

cardamom coffee // a.s.m

you don’t know
what you want and
you don’t know
the road;
you’ve made and you’ve left
a thousand homes
to chase clouds that
dissolve in the palms of
your hands,
you’re here and
you are gone
again.