to become one
with something else–
the wind, the sailsanother person
to simultaneously lose
& expandoneself
to be so lost &
so found
each place your heart & feet
have tread
Tag: spilled thoughts
i am restless
within, aching
for wildness
running after a dream
unsure of what it isi am hungry for dirt
and the smell of
rain,
i feel uncooked inside
i am not ready to give myself
to anything
because there is so much to know
so much to yearn for,
to lovei wonder what would silence
the hunger.
i know you love me,
but it doesn’t make me
feel less alonesometimes i want to ask you if
you’ve ever been
swallowed whole by something
entirely separate from yourself
but something you know
was born inside youfermenting in the warm, dark
parts
expanding & shrinking
breathing
feeding
off of words & feelings
you don’t have names or reasons forsometimes i want to ask you
if there are parts of yourself
you’re not sure you can
controlbut
when i look in your eyes
unwavering
like nothing has ever made you
fear
your own mindi know you love me,
i know you will say
no.
Physics
the atoms i am made of
are mostly empty space.
what does that make
me?
We Look For Answers
in the palms of our hands,
on narrow roads that
twist and intersect.in wishing well eyes,
uprooting the fibrous tunic in
our frantic pursuit.in echoing cathedrals
where we lay our souls upon
wilting flower beds.in brilliant garbage dumps,
piled high, distorted into
siren’s songs.in the mountains and grasslands and
the coursing veins that run through
the dirt we were and will be.in the folded up papers
whose true triviality is unknown
until we are weaved
back into the earth.in the booming echoes of
our voices as we stand on
elevated hills and yell into the valleys
below.where they cannot be found,
for they reside far beyond
existence.
the sky was bruised and blooming
above us, deep
purple and blackthe pool lights darted
by our feet
distorted and refracted.
scattered.
moving with the wateri lay floating
on my back, andfor the first time since
calling you mine, i felt
weightless.you wrapped your arms around
my waistfor the first time
since calling me yours,you carried
me.when the weight returned
to my body
we ran homeour wet footprints left
to dry
beneath the winking moon.
I can’t tell if
I get sad
on the days that I miss you,
or if
I miss you
on the days when I’m sad.
there is peace,
too much peace.these walls are saturated,
dripping, and sickly sweet with
the stillness of avoidance –
nauseatingly daunting.there
is always movement underneath
a still surface, there is always
something
eager to erupt.
The Seance
we drove
with the windows down
even though it wasn’t quite warm
because it wasn’t cold, either.
and the boy with the curly hair
played Meat Loaf with the volume
at 37:
And I would do anything for love
I’d run right into hell and back…
i see your phantom whoosh
past on the side of the road
and wonder if i ever truly
felt your love, or
if it was just a ghost,
too.
we lock eyes.
i laugh a laugh i thought
i’d lost after i met you
and watch you dissolve
in the rearview mirror.