Tag: spilled words

it’s so cold out here,
my bones are vibrating.
my thumb seems to have forgotten 
how to flick a lighter, 
but i don’t feel the icy tongue
of the wind on my skin. 
i am half-cooked: well done
on the outside, but raw
in the core. perhaps
all i need is a cigarette
to light me. but i know fires
never last on the coldest nights;
even the brightest flames
eventually die.
i can’t hold this
damn bogie still enough
for it to
kiss the flame; the moons
of my fingers are turning purple
and the rawness is
creeping to the surface.

i am still raw in the center // a.s.m

you’re too young to be hiding
in the closet
full of clothes your
mother bought you. 

you’re too young to 
hate yourself so much
that you dream of hiding
in there forever, just so you
never again have to wear a dress
on Easter. 

you’re too old 
to be living as anything but
what paints your stomach lining. 
project it in color on city walls. 
scream it drunkenly off of rooftops
to the whole world, a reminder: 

your tiny planet will
never stop spinning as long as you
continue to push it.

your life is too short to be squeezing yourself into clothes that don’t fit who you are // a.s.m

a picture worth a thousand words
you wanted the world
to hear me say the ones
hidden
underneath my tongue
for you.
i wanted you to
taste them when you kissed
me.

i turn my back
to the lens, cover
my face with my hands.
i only want these moments
as they slide between my
fingers. i only want the
blanket of your lips on
mine. i only want the
heat of you running
up my spine. i don’t
want to press flowers
between the pages
of a book. no
lingering scent
of you on my
bedsheets, no
ink on a piece
of paper to
prove you
ever set
foot
here.

i just want you in these moments: why do we need to prove we’re in love to everyone else? // a.s.m

the bathroom smells like blood
and when they open the door, 
you look into their eyes
as they’re crumbled on the floor. 
as you open your mouth
they put a hand to your face; 
exhaling reassurances to fill the empty space: 
‘this will be the last time,
i just had a hard day. 
some days i feel i’m at war
i swear i don’t hurt anymore.’

all of a sudden
they’re a million miles away.
through the back end of binoculars
you don’t know what to say because
you know you can’t do anything
to take away the pain. 
even though cuts fade to scars, 
sometimes the blood stains.

even though cuts fade to scars, sometimes the blood stains // a.s.m

i am falling apart:
a 1000-piece puzzle 
even i gave up on
half-way through.
you are the wind, blowing
my pieces every
which way and
i cannot catch them all.
the universe is shining
in my eyes,
so i let my hands down
to my side and watch
myself go.

thank you for tearing me apart. it allowed me to become someone new. // a.s.m

all is right
and nothing’s left, 
it seems i’ve lost my
art. 
no blood pounds in my
forehead, the seas within
are calm and i
have nothing left to say except
how lovely it is to really
smell the autumn air and
not be thinking of
how to write about it.

when the words don’t flow // a.s.m

Sometimes events in your life aren’t meant to happen when you want them to. You can’t shove a puzzle piece where it doesn’t belong or else the puzzle as a whole won’t come out looking right. Our lives are puzzles in a similar way: in our relationships, jobs, hobbies, whatever-if the piece doesn’t fit quite right, it isn’t meant to go there.  Trust that moving some pieces of your life around will fix the overall outcome of the greater picture.

trust the big picture: the universe knows where everything’s meant to go. // a.s.m