Tag: TUMBLR POETRY

ether

a dream
a memory
from a life lived
or living 

maybe mine
maybe someone
else’s

sleepy
sun, still
waking, weaving
between blades 
of thick Iowa grass
yellowing and resolute

worshipping
their golden 
god. 

eternal beds
canopied with iron gates

glorious even in
decaying.

a cemetary in Iowa // a.s.m 

կերասի շրթունքներ 
վարդագույնի այտեր
նուշի աչքեր
աշխարհի ամենավաղ պարարտ
այգի ես դուն: 

cherry lips
rosy cheeks
almond eyes:
you are the earth’s
most fertile garden.

garden of earthly delights // a.s.m

sometimes my heart takes me
to the walled courtyards of the Old City
to the streets where my նենե (grandmother)
laughed and played
and carved her initials into stone

sometimes it calls me to
sandstone cities
and undulating deserts
where my ancestors fled and
where the mosque’s 
haunting prayers stir
my sleeping soul

sometimes i hear
the melancholy songs of
my mother tongue
and i long to stand on the հող (dirt)
half of my being was formed from,
to dig my toes into my
roots

sometimes i’m drawn towards
places i do not know, but
that i hear calling me

but louder than the voices
echoing in ancient monasteries
and stronger than the force of
my meandering spirit
is the pull to you 

you are where I ache to go back to

you are my home // a.s.m

i am restless
within, aching
for wildness 
running after a dream 
unsure of what it is 

i am hungry for dirt
and the smell of
rain, 
i feel uncooked inside
 
i am not ready to give myself
to anything 
because there is so much to know
so much to yearn for,
to love

i wonder what would silence
the hunger.

hungry heart // a.s.m 

there is so much within me
things i don’t understand
that overwhelm me

like standing in one of those lottery games
where the dollar bills fly all around you
& you have to try & catch them

my emotions
& physical sensations
fly every which way within me
and all i can do is watch them swim around my head
dizzying
nameless 

& i don’t understand how to name them
i don’t even understand how to feel them
how to hold them
how to make them feel whole &
heard & known so they can 
stop haunting me

there is so much within me
i don’t know how to feel.

a.s.m

forgiveness is falling from
the sky
pushing dirt and gravel 
down the streets, 
singing. 

and i stand outside
mouth and heart open 
wide and let it 
drench me, inside 
and out

clean and
consume me.

and as it permeates my skin, 
i will not fight it 
but let it in.

i’m ready to forgive // a.s.m

it is always
mitigation with you,
always putting out fires but
never trying to prevent them
letting the sagebrush grow
just enough that you can
consume it again


but i thought you were the adult
here


i thought being an adult meant
knowing how to love
like really
love without hurting
each other


you yell at me from across
the table &
even in the dim light
i know there are eyes 
on us


& in silence i stare at
you & marvel
that of all the conceptions
occurring in the year of 1994,
of all the uteruses &
fetuses to inhabit those uteruses
& consciousnesses to inhabit those fetuses
God decided to give me
to you


it hurts too much to think
there was no method to this


again, you apologize
& allow the act in itself
to forgive you


you snore heavily in the car
as i drive us home.
while you dream i wonder
when i will finally say
it’s okay

a.s.m 

some days
you are silent
& to me it feels greater
than the 3,000 miles
between us.


& in this silence I fear
the worst
& in this silence I fear

a silence I know well

a silence I have felt
before

withdrawal of
emotions & words
intended to wound;


in my heart I know
you always call

but I am still learning
to feel silence
as more than a
punishment.

getting over a cold shoulder // a.s.m