ugh – Silenticel

i am escaping
into the night much like
the air from her mouth evaporates
into the wind as she says
goodbye.

light no longer
reflects off of me:
i am absorbing so much
darkness,
she cannot find me
anymore.

not being able to see
me means i’m already gone.
the only thing
she wraps her arms around anymore
is the darkness, and it is too cold,
i make her
shiver.

goosebumps // a.s.m

i’m getting bad again.
there’s no room under
my skin,
there’s too much of me
to be beautiful.
i’ll never fit into a box,
i’m not perfect enough.
i’m too much
of the wrong things
to be loved.

of what value am i
if i want to cry
every time i look at myself?
i see excess
in every limb. i am a waste
of space, i should not be taking
up so much.

relapse // a.s.m

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